Underpants: Fashion or Function?

Hey Smarts, s'up?

Yes sorry, I’m not very good at minimizing details. I don’t know if I have the ability to make a long story short. Case in point, I just went to the ladies room. Normally that story would end there because I’m not a fan of potty humor. However, the hilarity of my current underoos situation has me wanting to share.


As you know, in preparation for the pool on Sunday, I did a lot of shaving. The regrowth has begun and it’s extremely uncomfortable. I kept scratching and doing that “OMG this is so uncomfortable” dance this morning… while trying to hurry up and get dressed. I picked out what I wanted to wear, got dressed, and immediately decided I would not be able to wear underwear. However, I was wearing a skirt, and going commando is just not appropriate since I’m not Britney, Paris, or Lindsey… everything I own would have rubbed uncomfortably on my razor rash, and I didn’t have any time to figure out another solution or outfit… so I grabbed a pair of BF’s boxer briefs. Yup… I’ve been wearing men’s boxer briefs under my black and red pin stripe pencil skirt today. I’m a cross-dressing rock star. And no, BF is not aware of this yet. Upside, totally worked. Nether-region is feeling MUCH better this afternoon.

See how I affectively avoided commenting on the “in love” thing? Genius! LOL
Ok yes… I’m in love. It’s Re.Dic. I feel like I have to be all tough on the outside and shield everyone else from our Smoopfest of throw-up-a-little-in-my-mouth happiness. It’s so happy, shiny, and sweet that it could cause others an injury… like acid reflux… or melting (you know, Indiana Jones and the Arch of the Covenant, or whatever it’s called… don’t look at the arch, don’t look at it!!) I guess the positive is that I’m now one of those people that gives the single gals hope, right? I can live with that. Would it be too much to refer to BF from now on and Smoopsipoo? ; )

OMG ya, don’t worry about weekend plans. You need to get your travel details taken care of, for serious yo! Do it! Do it! And keep good records, that way you have all your information for next time, since no one else is going to clue you in apparently. LOL

Tips to spice up your week? Google African and Indian flirting techniques. :P And practice Swahili and Hindi pick-up lines… that should keep you busy. Learn the naughty words. At the very least “nice butt”, “big package”, “sexy time”, and “lovely lady lumps”.

Oh yes, the goods on the people I work with. I’m still getting to know them, but let’s see if I can give some overviews so you have a rough idea.

Boss Lady: Motivated (military Capt, leader of the military college band (geek!), and young for her management level), friendly, funny, super nice (bought 6 of us lunch last week), chill but gets stuff done, doesn’t wear make-up or jewelry, but pretty… I kinda want to be her style mentor and want her to be my career mentor.

Office Mate: Knows his stuff, focused, friendly, loves his two 20-something daughters… and partying at the lake, helpful, early-riser, and prefers low-level lighting over florescent. He is a fan of my humorous comics on the billboard (Thank you, Dilbert), and countered my Cdn flag with an American one. We’re buds. LOL

Guy Across the Hall: Chill, friendly, helpful… prankster. About a week after I started, walked in my office to find a small orange envelope on my desk that was marked “Rattlesnake Eggs” and had all these caution warnings on it. He assured me they were just eggs and he just thought it was really cool and wanted to show me. I didn’t trust him. And rightfully so… I opened the envelope and this contraption went off that made the envelope vibrate and made a rattle noise. I jumped and may have emitted a small yelp.

Trainer Lady: The lady that’s leaving the program that I was hired to replace on the program… she really knows the whole program, and all the steps and little details in the processes. However, she’s very wound up all the time and reminds me of a very rambunctious Chihuahua. I think she’s supposed to be on Adderall or something. Oh, and she doesn’t look it, but she’s a country girl and loves hunting deer by sitting up in a tree thingy.

Govt Boss: This guy is interesting, he’s a lot like Trainer Lady in that he knows this program inside and out, and he knows what he wants… he’s also very wound up like a Chihuahua. He uses exclamation points on all emails like they’re periods. I questioned his orientation, but apparently he’s married and seems to love being married/his wife from what I can tell… so maybe he’s just eccentric. He seems really nice.

More to come as I get to know them better.
Oh also... details from my 6-Hour Happy Hour will be posted to my "public" blog momentarily...

Sasstastic!  ::muah!::