Indian Annoyances

Hey Smarts - I mean Sassy,

You confused me with your display of intellect, leadership and wisdom in your class, LOL. Way to go! It's nice to be the head of the class, but annoying when it's just not moving at your pace. Good thing you had lots of booze and fun in the sun to balance it out! I'm interested to hear about the incident with the instructor though.

You are going to laugh. I did show too much skin at the beach. Though it is not what you are thinking. I wore a V-neck T-shirt and jeans, it might as well have been a hijab by Western standards for beachwear. My guide that day asked to take a photo of me, I thought he was being kind b/c I was taking a lot of photos of myself, you know, the face-the-camera-towards-yourself shot. So when I look at the display, I notice he's zoomed into my torso, and the V of my T-shirt is slightly hovering over my non-existent cleavage. Then, in choppy English, he explains to me to pull up my shirt because people will take photos of me. I was both embarassed and annoyed. This was in the southern part of India, I guess they are more traditional.

I'm in Agra now. Jaipur was great, though I did have a minor breakdown yesterday. I had just had enough of people yelling at me: "Madam! Come here!", "Listen to me, madam!", and "Hey, sexy!". I ducked into a convenience store/shack for some water, and a man followed me in. As I asked the storekeeper for bottled water, the man who followed me repeats my order and acts like he's nice and helping me. He turns to me and says, "Why don't travellers like to speak to Indians?"

Well, I had just had it. I opened my mouth to yell at him, to tell him that travellers would love to speak to civilized Indian people, not hawkers who disrespect women and make them feel worthless - and instead I just started to cry. Like a dweeb. Then I was mad at myself. I'm a seasoned traveller, I can take this crap. Can't I? The man then tries to be my friend and asks me to come take a look at the things in his shop. Seriously? I said no, and briskly walked away.

I mean, it's not all that bad. I stayed at this amazing hotel, got to know two really nice Indian people (my guide and the hotelier's daughter who came to give me a gift of bangles), saw beautiful forts and palaces and learned a bit of Rajastan history. But I hate feeling like a target, like a foreigner.

Like today. I arrive in Agra, and I can tell my local guide (we'll call him Mr. T) could care less about me being here; he briefs me on the city in a hurry, then offers me the optional excursion of seeing Agra Fort today by private taxi for 30 bucks, and the taxi will be mine for the rest of the day with a guide, to go wherever I want (Side note, Taj Mahal is planned for sunrise tomorrow, included in the tour). I agree, because I don't want to be stuck negotiating a tuk-tuk or navigating crazy storekeepers again on my own.

Wrong decision. Agra is nothing like Jaipur. Agra Fort is a 2 dollar tuk-tuk ride from my hotel, I could have walked. It's pretty quiet here. After an admittedly enjoyable and educational tour of Agra Fort, my taxi driver and guide ask me, where to next? I say I'd like to do some shopping, but they take me to expensive places where they no doubt get commissions. So I embarassed them. I had the storekeepers show me everything in the store, then bought nothing. When I asked if the taxi would drop me at the hotel and pick me up later for dinner, they said no, so I had to order take-out since it was too early to eat.

Fine.

Now, as I sit in the hotel lobby on the communal computer, who do I see but Mr. T? Turns out he's got another tour group staying in my hotel, who he's taking out for dinner and a puppet show. Really, now?

I complained to him and he agrees that they were supposed to take me out to dinner when I wanted, and that the cab was meant to be mine for the evening. He invited me to the dinner - I said I've already had take-out. I made him feel really bad - or at least, he faked it. I had a bad feeling about him from the beginning. Where is my super-sweet tour guide from Jaipur? He was so concerned about my mosquito-bitten arms that he called the hotel and told them to spray for bugs (and I think he must have yelled at them, because all last evening they kept asking me if I wanted more bug spray, LOL).

Anyways, enough complaining. I'm a tourist, and though India is meant to be cheap, I have to suck it up because here, I will be ripped off. No ifs, ands or buts. Will I return? Well, yes, I have to for work in the near future. For pleasure? I'm afraid I'll have to think about it. Maybe to a retreat in the Himalayas. With John Abraham...now he's my favourite Indian dish, if you must know. Kadai paneer with garlic naan comes a close second.

OK, how self-centred has this post been? Tell me, how was the raging Dirty-30 party? How was the reunion with BF? Was the house tidy? I'm guessing yes. So exciting that you are making plans for Christmas. It's great BF's really thinking about his job and the future...do I smell a boy becoming a man? LOL...A year from now, my guess is you'll at LEAST be engaged, but my hope and wish for you is that I will have attended your wedding in paradise.

Because I think I need a resort vacation. Like, ASAP.

Smarts.