Cohabitation... ::sigh:: It Gets Better.

Smarts!

Oops, forgot it was my turn. Sorry so slack. Can I blame it on the holiday? Ha! Irony is we didn’t even celebrate Turkey Day on Turkey Day, well not in the traditional sense anyway… we’re doing the big meal today. More on that in a second.

First, I will address your ponderings. ‘Cause I’ve only had one coffee so far, and replying to your thoughts is better than trying to think up my own stories for at least another 15 minutes...

In terms of our jobs, or should I say careers, I think it would be a great idea for us to adopt a more Zen approach to our futures. What will be, will be. We’re free, happy, healthy, and earn enough to enjoy our freedoms in our spare time. We’re not unhappy at work, and that’s a good thing. So I think my new outlook is to just enjoy what I have and follow where fate takes me. I’m sure opportunities will present themselves when the time is right. I’m hoping this new Zen outlook will help quiet the restless lost feeling. Maybe aided by some Wii Fit yoga. LOL

You know that question that guidance counselors are rumored to ask to try to help students figure out their path… “If you never needed money again and didn’t have to work, what would you do with your time?”  Or as it was put in Office Space, “If you had a million bucks, what would you do?”  I’m so Peter. I never have an answer to that question. I’d do nothing. Hmm… maybe that’s not true. I’d travel. But first I’d have to find a travel buddy. Guess if I had that much money I could pay a travel companion. But I really don’t think I’d immediately think of any way to be productive, or contribute to the GNP. Though now that I’m sitting here thinking about it, maybe I’d write. Limited interaction with real people, anonymity (thanks to pen names), quiet time, definitive deadlines (let’s face it, I need them), and a way to purge my thoughts. Though really, it would need to mostly be non-fiction because I’m not really that imaginative on a regular basis. I’d just have to plagiarize someone’s life and change the names.  LOL   

So have you been running recently?  How’s your eating this week? I’ve been sticking to my “diet” pretty well, BF is helping a lot. He’s been great about the food situation lately. It’s not very difficult when there aren’t chips and ice cream and pizza in the house. LOL  And I went for a run yesterday morning. It was SO hot here I really sweat my butt off and had to stay in a cold shower for like 10 minutes just to get my body temperature back to normal after. But it was the start of a really great day. And I (no idea why I keep starting sentences with “And” and “But”… sorry) figured out what was causing/not helping my shin splints. I had these arch support insoles in my shoes that I put in after the last trip to NY… when I pulled something in my arch due to walking around the city all day in flip-flops. Remember that? LOL Fail. Anyway, I took the insoles out and Voila!... no more shin splints. I do need new shoes soon though. I’ll just procrastinate a little longer, that’s all.

Question: Is there a trick to running on a treadmill? I tried it for the first time at the gym the other day and had to stop less than 2 minutes in. It felt so weird. I’ve walked at a quick pace on it plenty, even on a steep incline… but running just felt really weird to me. Does that happen the first few times? Can you remember your first run on a treadmill?

In somewhat related/relevant news to the blurb above, I went for that run by myself yesterday morning. Yup, I volunteered and was motivated to run. Sans BF. Weird right? I’ll tell you why. Because BF was being a jerk. The other day I ranted for a good 20 minutes to you about our living situation. I’ve always known BF was a bit slobby, and I’ve always known that I harbor resentment over the fact that he gets paid to be on-call and has plenty of free time during the week to be slack. Earlier this week it was really getting to me though that he doesn’t seem to put any effort into keeping the place tidy while I’m at work all day. Now please understand, I don’t expect him to be a “house-husband” or a maid or anything like that. I just think it would be considerate if he took an hour out of his video game playing day to maybe tidy up, take the garbage out, and it wouldn’t kill him to run the vacuum maybe once a week. I think he’s forgotten how much those little acts of cleanliness really make me insanely happy. So I was mad at him for generally being slack lately. I’ve been feeling that I (and the house) have been taken for granted and I wasn’t happy about it. The reality is, he does try, he does make an effort to not leave dishes in the sink, or socks on the living room floor, he does put his laundry in the hamper, and he does take the trash out when it’s full (aka: when I ask)… but this week it was really bugging me. And when I got home from work on Wednesday evening I came home to dishes in the sink, crumbs and dried something on the counter, a full garbage bag, and his stuff in the home office STILL not sorted through. So I quickly put away the groceries I’d picked up, cleaned and took care of all these items, and changed into my gym clothes before rushing out the door. I barely grumbled a “see ya later” to him STILL seated at the computer before I shut the door behind me. I was a tornado… complete with unnecessary “hmph”ing, loud clanging, and some stomping… and that’s probably what kept him hiding in the office. I wasn’t mean, I wasn’t rude, and even when I can home from the gym that night… I tried to play it easy. But then after I’d showered, taken care of an order for Job2 online, and eaten most of my dinner… I walk into the kitchen to see all his dirty dinner dishes in the sink again. And him back at the computer. This time, I said something about it and started cleaning. He got snippy and said I should worry about my own mess in the living room (the remnants of my dinner dishes) and said to leave his in the sink because he’d do it “later”. Well naturally, I’d already cleaned up after myself, and continued to clean up his dishes anyway. I then watched Notting Hill by myself… and then went to bed… by myself. He stayed in the office on the computer until 4am, and then crashed on the futon in the office.

So the next morning, before my run, I’m in the bathroom and hear a little knock. He’s on the other side of the door and quietly apologizes for being a jerk. He admits he was out of line and leaves the room after my short “ok”. When I get back from my run, he asks about what I’d like for breakfast, and I hit the shower. It was such a beautiful day, I suggested we sit out on the patio for breakfast… and it was lovely. Also, since there’s no TV present, we talked. It was a really good talk. We both explained our feelings and frustrations… and decided that we’ll keep track of my “hormonal” week so he knows when he needs to make that extra effort to keep things tidy and help out.  LOL  It’s true. We looked back at our cleaning/chore/household arguments over the past several months and like clockwork every 4 weeks I get very concerned (and easily annoyed) with his “slack”. Truth is, he’s improved a lot and has been making efforts… I just expect more and acknowledge less when my hormones are raging. Poor guy.  :P  But we talked it out, made a plan, and even talked about his career path and our future goals for the next 3-5 years. I had a good cry to release the built-up hormonal emotions, and he hugged it out with me. We then got very productive and tackled the “honey-Do” list together. It was a really good day.  

For NY, I’ve got two sets of “tickets”. One is 2 tickets for Wicked… date night with BF. The second set is 6 tickets to a comedy improv show for us and BF’s siblings. Figured we could all get out of the parents’ hair for one night. And I love to laugh!  :D   I’m really excited about both events. And having outing planned makes me want to buy cute boots. LOL! I may try shopping this weekend.

As you know, yesterday was American Thanksgiving. And some workplaces will give the day after Thanksgiving off as well, but typically you’re using a “vacation” day to do that. I only actually get one day off. Oh, and yes, I think the divergent holidays (Canada 1 month earlier than US) is due to the harvest timeline. That would make sense.

You’ll notice above, I didn’t mention anything about BF and I going to mom’s for turkey. That will be today. My step-sis spends the actual holiday (every holiday) with her mom’s side of the family. We (aka: her dad) always get the “alternate” day. And we’re nice, so we always accommodate so she’s included. Yes, she’s spoiled. And yes, it bugs us. But what it comes down to is that we don’t rock the boat because I think we suspect always coming second probably really hurts my step-dad, and we’re not the kind of people to rub salt in the wound. Call me crazy (and also the child of a divorced family) but I personally believe that family holidays should be alternated to keep things fair. It’s just hurtful to always have her dad feeling like second choice. If it were me, I’d spend the “real” Thanksgiving with one parent, and the “real” Christmas with the other parent. And maybe switch them the next year, yanno. But I don’t think she thinks about these things. I don’t think she considers her dad’s feelings… or the rest of us that change our schedules for every holiday for her. Spoiled. Selfish. Maybe… but I know she’s not a bad person overall. Maybe it’s just a maturity thing, she’s 21 now. It’s ok for now, the family holidays should be about enjoying the time we do have with one another, not nitpicking over these things. I just hope that the light dawns on her one day and she thinks about how her actions affect others.  To sum up… we’re headed to mom’s as soon as I’m done work. And we’re bring the Wii. I’ve already made characters for everyone. LOL  YAY!!  Oh, and booze. We’re bringing booze. Athankyou.

HA! Little Miss Idealistic and Romantic. You’re too funny. You may be right… but I doubt it. I think I’ll still hold out for quite some time. LOL  This is something that we talked about a little yesterday at our patio breakfast. I explained that he needs to think about his goals for the next 3-5 years and really push himself to attain those goals. If that includes making a certain salary, or reaching a certain point in his career progress, or starting a family… they all require him actively pursuing those goals right now… not 5 years from now. I think I got through. He’s agreed it’s a good idea to request a performance (salary) review with his supervisor BEFORE the end of the year. The concept of time wasted = lost-income wasted hadn’t occurred to him enough to impact his hesitation before I mentioned the costs attributed to our short-term travel goals. I also tried to casually hint that my money is tied up in my mortgage and school loans, so he’d going to have to man-up because I can’t carry him and it’s not fair to lean on his parents forever. I have no idea how I managed saying all that casually and without insult (or phrasing it like I just did here)… but I accomplished it somehow. Man, I wish I had a better memory (or a camera crew) sometimes!!  If he takes the steps to meet with his supervisor before the Christmas holiday, I’ll be happy and will try to set him on the right path (my right path, of course). LOL  Oh, and I gave him this really great book by Suze Orman and he reacted really well… he’s excited to read it. So while I won’t completely take over his money or life plans, I’m really encouraged by his responses yesterday and know he’s really starting to think about the future now. YAY!  Go ahead and be positive… romance it up, Smarts.  :P

So thrilled for Gaby. And so funny about your gala event. Silly people and their ageism, and prettyism, and whatnot. Why is it so hard to believe that a beautiful young woman could also be a brilliant and charming PhD?!  :P   You showed them.  Ha!

Ok, well I think I’ve done enough “time” at my desk today. There’s only one person left with keys and he’s going to be locking up within the next hour or so… so I think it’s time for me to get some turkey, Wii, and BOOZE! Hell ya!  :D  

NOTE: I’ll try to stick to meats and green veggies for dinner… but avoiding biscuits and stuffing is going to be so tough!! Wish me luck.

Tell me how your week has been… plans for the weekend?

Sassy Starving