Vacay Recap & 2011 Musings

So I struggled with this post for a bit. I was going to give a quick synopsis for each day, but then realized that would be a bit too much reading boring whatever… so instead I’ve cut out the interesting stuff and made it much shorter. The below covers about 10 days of stuff. This way I can comment on other random things at the end and it won’t be a full blown novel.  LOL  

Vacay – Christmas 2010

Rushed through packing wayyy too quickly and felt panicked in the last 30 minutes. Didn’t really pack “smart” and ended up throwing in new and taking out items last minute like a spaz… forgot only a couple minor things. As I predicted, as soon as the plane was in the air, I felt a wave of happiness and relaxation wash over me. So lovely.  : )  The flight was quick and before we knew it we were landing, then headed to pick up pizzas for dinner. It’s tradition, apparently. Every time BF goes home, they pick up pizzas on the way back. Fortunately we thought ahead about this and avoided pizza at home for the month of December. In trying to eat healthier we’re only allowed pizza once a month. It gives us something to look forward to. LOL

Worked out on the elliptical 40 minutes once over the entire vacation. What? It’s vacation. I don’t have to work-out if I don’t wanna.  :P  BF went last-minute Christmas shopping, of course. ::eye roll::  We all opened presents at night (Christmas Eve) instead of the next morning (Christmas Day) because moms was expecting guests around noon and didn’t want to rush us (or herself) in the morning with presents and the making of the feast. After all the present opening I felt like I should have personally brought gifts for his family also, instead of just from BF and/or us as a couple. They all got me something special. Awww… I ended up with a cute black Coach clutch (perfect for me since I’m not a label flaunter), jammies, and Channel perfume from moms (and pops/Santa, I’m assuming LOL), a small table-top air hockey board game (so fun!) from younger brother (YB), a pretty Galileo thermometer for both of us from youngest sister (YS), earrings from older sister, and I can’t even remember what else… I felt so spoiled. And out of my element.

Visitors came over around noon the nest day. Another mix-race couple (like BF’s family) and their 2 boys… Oldest son had a claim to fame, he was on an episode of House Hunters International. I told my moms later, and she got so excited because she had seen that episode. LOL

Big dinner, plenty of food. Tons of leftovers. Us kids (me, BF, & younger bro (YB) mostly) cleaned up. Moms was wayyyy drunk. Watched original Tron on DVD that night… in preparation for seeing the new one later in the week.

Unfortunately this is the first night BF’s parents had an argument while we were there. They kept it quiet in volume, but I could feel tension in the air just by walking in the room. No idea what it might have been about as it was none of my business and I quickly found somewhere else to be.

Day after Christmas, snow started around 11am. Blizzard in full effect by 1pm, and airports and trains were shut down. This is the day older sister (OS) & younger sister (YS) got into a mini fight. Basically, here’s the gist… before YS returned from college, OS spent a couple nights over at the house, and instead of sleeping in her own old room she slept in YS’s room. YB, YS, and OS’s rooms are all beside each other in a row, and connected with adjoining doors. YS’s room is the middle one. OS figured since she was hanging out with YB, it was easier to just crash in YS’s room instead of walking the extra 9 feet to her own room/bed. YS came home and was just irritated to have her personal space encroached upon. Seems to be recurring issue. OS assumes she can use/borrow all of YS’s stuff without ever asking. It all came to a head within 5 minutes when one of them said something to the other. We were just starting a movie, so BF, YB, and I were just trying to get them to let it go. All OS had to do was apologize, but instead she felt like we were all ganging up on her for no reason and so she “fought back” by being a bully and telling YS she was making a big deal of nothing, bullying her in front of us, and then tried to create a physical fight. We just all thought OS was being a bit of a jerk. Later on OS was whining to her mom about it and bashing YS’s attitude. I was cleaning the kitchen and said something like “well, you did sleep in her room…” and I basically said that I didn’t understand why OS was getting so worked up about it.

But before I could finish my thought she interrupted me to “politely” remind me that I’m not a member of the family and I don’t know the history and shouldn’t get involved. So I just realized she was being a bratty bully because no one was backing her, and excused myself to go read my book. I wasn’t going to fight with her over something trivial that had nothing to do with me anyway.

BF comes up a little while later to check to see if I’m ok, and asked if I was upset due to overhearing something. I didn’t know what he was talking about, and he sheepishly admitted that OS had been going on about me butting-in downstairs. Basically trash-talking me behind my back to her mom and BF, but he says he was trying to defend me. BF and I had a few words, in which I told him I thought OS was being a brat and a bully. Of course after listening to OS talk behind my back, he didn’t want to listen to me talk behind hers either, so he left the room. When I started crying I realized I was likely still hormonal (perfect timing cycle-wise). He comes back a little while later with food, coffee, and giving kisses… and we talk it out easily in 5 minutes. I didn’t go back downstairs because I was feeling too vulnerable hormonally and didn’t want to make an emotional scene. Asked BF to let his mom and sister know that I wasn’t upset with them, but that I was having a case of hormones so I wasn’t planning to be social for the rest of the night. I also asked him to relay the message of bygones and nothing was mentioned the next morning. Whew! Too much drama right… :P

Blizzard aftermath. Trains out of service and plows slowly in action around the city. Missed Broadway show, due to storm conditions we couldn’t get into the city. Purchased new tickets for Thurs afternoon. BF’s parents will redeem old tickets for another show sometime between now and March (thanks to the storm and the understanding theater).

Went to see new Tron movie with BF, YS, and YB. In 3D. Woot! This might have been the night I got tipsy and we played Rock Band in YB’s room. I sang… very off-key, and loud.

Moms, YS, and I went shopping and got pedicures. They got to witness the extent of my uber-ticklish feet. LOL 

I had bought 6 VIP tickets for an improv comedy show and we took the train (finally running again) into a very cold night in the city. The place was classy and the food was great! The comedy was a little “crass” so moms had a few awkward moments, but it was funny… and everyone enjoyed getting out of the house after the blizzard had kept us in for days. Moms picked up the check for the food and drinks, which was really sweet of her… I’m gonna send a thank you card. (Note: BF and I were watching 30 Rock the other day and realized one of the improv guys is actually one of the “writers” on the show. He doesn’t have lines ever/often… he’s just a “filler” writer, but cool to see him on TV.  

Headed into the city for Broadway “do-over”. We read the wrong train schedule, and arrived in the city when the show was already starting. Then in our rush to get there, ended up on the express subway by accident and got a little lost while trying to find our way back. Too much walking and too many people already celebrating pre-NYE, plus being really late for the show, made me very cranky. I was getting on BF’s (and my own) nerves quickly. We got to the theater an hour late and made it there right before intermission. The second half of the show was fantastic! (Forehead smack!) And at intermission BF bought me a rum & coke (alcohol + caffeine. Genius!) and M&Ms (YAY chocolate!) to try to cheer me up. It worked! After the show we headed back into the crowds to walk around.

Found a hole-in-the-wall Indian restaurant that ended up being amazingly delish! I can’t remember what it was called but we had this awesome deep fried eggplant appetizer thingy. YUM!  Had a lovely romantic dinner date. Headed out again to walk around. Ankles were hurting from all the walking in my heeled boots (doh!), and was having to jump over slush puddles and ice patches… so told BF that if we happened upon a shoe store I would just buy decent walking boots and quit my whining. He loved this idea. We rounded the corner and like a shimmering beacon, alighted upon Aerosoles! My fav shoe store of all time! We don’t have one here at home, so I was thrilled and found the perfect boots in less than 10 minutes. Success. We were both much happier after that. LOL 

Then we met up with BF’s college roomie, Bernie. No problem finding him, but instead of just popping into a nearby pub, he wanted to head to a different part of the city to find this one place he’d been to once before. He ended up getting us a bit lost and we were walking for a long time. I tried extra hard not to whine or get upset (BF noticed and thanked me later) but I suggested we make a couple stops on the way to this “magical” bar to have a drink or two at other bars on the way. That way I could warm up and get a drink here and there, and we made it into a pub crawl/scavenger bar hunt.  LOL   The roomie kept apologizing and consulting his phone to try to locate the place. HA! We finally got there and had a chance to unwind. It was great that BF got to catch up with Bernie, they hadn’t seen each other in at least 6 years I think. Good stories… plenty of “remember when…”  Ha! We ended up leaving at the perfect time and managed to catch the last train back to the parents’ house. I was pooped and crashed immediately when we got back. Too. Much. Walking. But YAY for new boots!  :D

YS’s BF came over. BTW (have you heard/seen anyone refer to “by the way” as “bee tee dubs”? They do it here. Little bit annoying and a little bit fun. I can’t decide if I like it).. sorry, tangent. YS’s BF… I’m pretty sure he’s gay. I’m 99% sure. They’ve been together for years, first relationship for both. Hoping she doesn’t get her heart broken when/if he comes out ever. Or hope I’m wrong about him being gay.

I had asked BF about maybe walking to the neighborhood pub for a bit that night for pre-NYE socializing, and he seemed passably interested in the idea, but we ended up just staying in. We definitely didn’t want to brave downtown. Had awesome dinner of crab legs and lobster. BF’s parents had started arguing in the kitchen while they were cleaning up, so the “kids” all bailed on helping basically. BF went to “his” room, which was directly over his parents’ room. They ended up keeping him awake until almost morning due to the loud arguing. Thankfully I didn’t hear anything from my room and slept until about 11am, but I felt bad for him and wished that he’d snuck in with me for a cuddle and some real sleep. Poor guy.

Slept wayyy in (again) and read a romance novel. Bee tee dubs (hmm… still kinda weird), located 4 errors/typos in the romance novel. Ha! Go me!  

BF’s online game had been hacked overnight and all his game “money” and equipment/gear had been stolen/sold for real life money. I have no idea how that stuff works, but apparently it’s big business. LOL He submitted a hack ticket and the game guys reset his stuff though, so it ended well. Though either BF was still a little tipsy from the night before/wee hours of morning to escape the parents’ fighting, or he started drinking before noon. When I went back downstairs we were all getting ready to go out for dinner. We were leaving in about 30 minutes and BF hadn’t showered, it had been over 24 hours, possibly closer to 48 hours since his previous shower. Ew! His mom told him to shower, then went up to get ready herself. I tried to nudge him, but he got rebellious and didn’t want to shower… that’s when I realized he was drunk. (He’s not obvious when drunk so I have to look for behavior changes, like rebelliousness). This is when he started being a jerk… which is unusual for him, even when drinking.

For the first time since I’ve known him, he got quite rude and nasty to everyone around him, including me. I couldn’t say, look, or do anything right without some comment from him that night. He verbally attacked his brother at dinner because he took offense when BF took YB’s bread right off his plate. In the fancy restaurant, BF retaliated by calling YB a “douch” (As in feminine hygiene product. Is that how it’s spelled?) and “fat”… not in his “indoor voice”… and was generally annoying to everyone else on purpose. I got really irritated, but kept reminding myself that it was temporary and would be different when he sobered up… and that it was most likely a side effect of the atmosphere in the house, his lack of sleep, and the booze. I tried not to take it personal, but it was embarrassing and hurtful.  When we got back to the house BF thankfully went pretty much straight to bed. I stayed up and packed up all our stuff while he slept. I didn’t want to risk running late for our flight in the morning.

At the airport we had a few minutes while waiting to board, so I reminded BF of Sat night and all the things he’d said and done. He immediately felt terrible, apologized to me, and then sent a text to his brother to apologize to him too. I have a feeling BF and I might talk some of it out (like about his parents fighting) in the next week or two, but I’m not going to push it. He’ll talk to me when/if he wants/needs to. I’m over his awful drunken behavior… now I’m just concerned about what’s going on with him. We got back to our normal routines right away, and it feels really good to be back home.  :D

In other news…

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a complete lack of motivation work-wise now that I’m back. I have work stuff I could be working on, but apparently I need to feel the pressure of an upcoming customer visit or a deadline in order to get motivated. I’m totally not a self-motivator. This of course plays into job #2 in a negative way too, since that side project is 100% based on self-motivation. Fail. Like last night… I planned to vacuum, do laundry, Wii Fit, and start organizing the office by filing and shredding paper… but instead we sat, ate, drank wine, and had a 30 Rock marathon. Doh! I’m the same way with a “to do” list. It gets too overwhelming so I avoid, but if I get a fire lit under my rear I feel so accomplished when I can cross things off the list. I have a conference this weekend that I’m hoping will get me motivated in terms of job #2. Time to get focused and pay some bills. Wonder if I could find a way to get BF motivated career-wise too… hmmm.   

The anxiety I feel in big cities is part of the reason I moved to a smaller, slower, coastal town. The pace and population of the big city was too much for me… it was fueling my stress and anxiety levels. I’ve chilled out so much since moving here, you have no idea. I like the city for a visit, with a confident guide that knows the city well, it’s a nice vacation type of thing… but when I’m on my own in a big city it makes me panic. Like my outgoing and extroverted persona… it’s just a ruse. I’d much rather be at home in quiet with a book and a snack. But I know that’s counter-productive for a social, healthy, and well-rounded life… so I fake/force the fun extrovert “me” for my own good. Shhh… very few people know this about me. LOL

After an extended vacation, I think most of us experience a phase of non-productivity. While some people enjoy their careers so much that it becomes their life (in a good way), most of us (at least in my opinion) enjoy those vacations so much because it’s a release from the stress of basic daily responsibilities, deadlines, meetings, etc… the mind, body, and soul can just rest without worry… and I think that can be as addicting as some drugs.  :P   Since I think you might be in this rut with me, I feel I should remind you that you enjoy your job, you enjoy teaching young minds, you enjoy working programs that save lives, and you enjoy the flexibility and travel benefits that come with your career. And remember that there is plenty of time to make subtle changes (or even a major one) to your career direction since we’ll most likely be working for another 30 years.  LOL  :P  So much can happen in 30 years… and we’ll make the most of it. Baby steps… and appreciation for all the great things about our lives are our daily fuel. I’m in the process of convincing myself of this right now.

Or shall we run away to somewhere tropical/coastal together and open a scooter rental?